Call me Ishmael. Call them Nverts.

They used to call it the “blog-o-sphere”—the world of bloggers. As blogs became less fashionable and Tweeting became all the rage, “Twitter-sphere” became “Twitter-verse”. (Because a Universe is BIGGER than a sphere, or planet, get it?)

Then it was “Facebook”, the number one tip-top destination, yea, the very Paris of the Internet. What do you call that?  “Facebook” obviously. To many people, Facebook is the Internet. (But, by the way, as India proved recently to Mark Zuckerberg, it’s not.) Are the unwashed Facebook masses the “Facebook-ians”? “Bookees?” “Fakers?” No matter. Today, I want to identify the un-brainwashed masses, the unfettered few, the unsavvy, who don’t know, and maybe don’t care about all that social stuff, and who, in this wacky, world wide web may get misled or tripped up by their blissful ignorance.

You know who “they” are, you might even be one of them. And heavens, “they” represent a whole spectrum of experience: Folks who founded the Internet, who pioneered it using America OnLine or CompuServe, yet they don’t know a Snapchat from a Tinder. Face it, at the speed of tech, even the savviest of ellipticals probably aren’t familiar with the most current and hippest of apps, whatever those may be this week! So there are plenty of people out there who don’t know one thing or another about “social”, and I want to help.

But first what are “they” called? How to refer to the innocents in this overwhelming and over-rated world of Social Media? The collective mass of humanity not hip to “social”. Is there a name for what Apple’s marketing used to call, “The Rest of Us?”

“Newb” suggests they are “new” to Social, but are joining the herd. Not what we are looking for.

“Social Media Luddite” has been used—way too judgmental.

Call them nverts! First we identify their “place” as “the Nverse”. This is short for “Non-Social Universe”—”Nsphere” sounds pretty good too, but face it, a UNIVERSE is bigger than a SPHERE, and we need a lot of room. (And in this crazy, mixed up world, nothing is original. If you Google, you’ll find #Nverse, meaning, who-knows-what? Some kind of reference to a Math equation? We don’t care.) Oviously the denizens of the Nverse are Nverts—like Non-Social Internet Introverts, they turn away  from the social Internet. It’s not perfect. How many people know what a phub is anyway? A lot of research and effort went into creating that word. Nvert. If you have a better name for Nhabitants of the Nverse, tell me!

But why am I doing this? What’s my point? Here. I read this on a web site recently:

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“Currently, we have about 70,000 followers on Facebook and Twitter.  That’s 70,000 people that we can learn from and service on a daily basis.”*

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Uh, no. Seriously. No, you can’t. Nverts, awaken! NO, THEY CAN’T LEARN FROM AND SERVICE Seventy Thousand of them ON A DAILY BASIS.

There is a certain naïveté, a hubris in that statement. The world has not changed that much. A small company, well-staffed by super-smart well-parented and motivated and energetic staff, may “learn from, and service” some of their customers who “follow them” on Facebook and Twitter. But 70,000? Uh uh.

I have a Twitter feed, I use Instagram, I write a blog. It’s “reality check” time for the Nverse.

—TechWite

P.S. Happy Tenth Birthday Twitter!!

*I’m not going to follow good journalistic practice and tell you where I got this quote because I don’t want to drive more traffic to their site. They may implode with information!

Dear #Millennials, The “Z’s” are coming. 😱

 

Dear Millennial, you are aging. 

No, I’m not talking about this GREY HAIR THING. Stop a minute, put down the phone, fingers off please, now listen to me. YOU ARE AGING. By most definitions you joined us on this planet as early as 1982. That means the oldest amongst you are approaching their mid-thirties. Many are easily within 10 years of the age of 40. Mark Zuckerberg, the icon of your generation, will be thirty-two in 2016. Sorry. I know you were busy texting and trying to get corporations to understand how to hire and retain you, and you didn’t see it coming, but it’s true. You are aging. In fact, you are not even “the new generation” anymore. Corporate Human Resources departments are already trying to figure out how to recruit and retain the next generation. Not you. I’m talking about “Generation Z”.

Got that? Take a deep breath. It will be okay. I’d like to offer some advice for what to expect, and how to move forward as the universe pulls away from you as its center.

First, although many of you hate the term “millennial”, by now you should be used to it.
I know,  “Gen Y”—being just an iteration in a series—was not as cool as it was for your predecessors. They got “Generation X“. You got “Generation Y”. They got to affiliate themselves with the “X Files” and “X Box“, and even, “OS X“. They gave you the “Y”, and then they changed it to the “M” word. “Millennial”. Jeez. For you gals and guys, someone might confuse your generational nom de plume with “Perrennial”, or “Centennial”, but not much else, and neither of those mean much. A flower that comes up every year? Okay. But  certainly “Millennial” isn’t as bad as being called a “Boomer” or even: “Baby Boomer“! What does that bring to mind? So PUH-LEASE, it could be worse; stop whining about what people call you and get over it.

Next, be prepared for the marginalization of the systems that you have created and used, whatever they are, and no matter how well they work. “Change for the sake of change” is the byword here; that’s what generations do. Can you remember these favorite Boomer tools that are now nearly non-existent?

• “paper”
• “book”
• “telephone”
• “pencil”
• “calculator”

A similar fate may fall upon the favorite tools of you and your cohorts. Be prepared!

Keep your ears open for the “big proclamations” about change that come from the media and corporate CEO offices. These will affect you. There are precedents. Look backwards. Forty years ago futurologists told the Boomers, “Paper is obsolete. We are going to the paperless office. Nobody will print anything!”. They said this every year for years. “This is the year we see the paperless office!” It was a joke. No Boomer believed it. But here’s why you should be wary: “The Paperless Office” wasn’t about getting rid of paper, it was about getting rid of Boomers! The Boomers became complaisant. And what happened? Filing cabinets disappeared. Giant shredders materialized in hallways. In the midst of this melee, jobs were outsourced. And the final blow, Boomers were bushwacked by “the Cloud”.

Today the futurologists say—as if telling Millennials what they want to hear—”Email is obsolete, email is going away. People don’t need email. The ‘M’s’ communicate with texting. (‘Snapchat’, ‘Facebook’, ‘Tinder’, ‘Slack’—fill in the name your favorite social media app that the Big Heads don’t use, and don’t understand)”. Who cares about email? You don’t use it. But getting rid of email clears the queue to put your technology on the guillotine. What do you suppose will go next, when the “Z’s” take over?

You “M’s” are big on “the Open Office”—no walls, lots of collaborative open space. Want privacy? Use headphones. And there’s the whole “remote work”, “working offsite” thing, which really means, “working from home”.  I wonder what will happen with that? I’m guessing next it will be the “office-less office”. Maybe it’s the texting apps? You tell me. Expect things to be dashed to pieces and cast aside as “old fashioned”—certainly “not as good” as whatever the “Z’s” come up with. Oh, and hang on, you won’t like this next one.

In the workplace, expect the senior people in the company to lavish great praise, and without actually comprehending it, to marvel at the creativity of the new changes that the next generation has brought forth, even if those changs have no practical business use. They’ll fall all over themselves trying to figure out how to get their old lumbering organization to look attractive to this new group of people. To anyone looking at this objectively, the obsequious nature of their actions appears pathetically desperate and says more about the incompetence of their leadership and the inability of their organization to innovate than it does about a new generation in the workplace. You might see really weird things happen, like the whole giant corporation change its branding to something that is just weird. Or the IT department may abruptly switch platforms, forcing the whole workforce to change how they work, because the CIO attended some conference where the “technology of the new generation” was discussed.

You may begin to feel marginalized in the workplace. At first, this might seem like your ideas are just not getting the respect they deserve. You have to work harder, or fight harder, to get your colleagues or managers to do what you know—because you are smart, and from your years of experience—to be the right thing. But when you begin to feel that you are being humored or ignored, take a breath. Pause. Evaluate. When it seems that your creativity and experience are no longer valued, perhaps even mocked, then it’s time to step back and appreciate your excellent Benefits package and consider your options. If the company begins to have “town meetings” about “change management”, and suggests that you all read, the latest faddish management book for companies in transition, then move quickly, because you will probably not be there long enough to retire.

Focus on what is important. In your home life, with your children, hopefully you realize by now that not everyone on the soccer team deserves a trophy. (Probably least of all, the coach.) There are those who are better than others at some things ,and there are those who rise to the situation, and there are those who just do the work and get it done and they’re all valuable. They all make worthwhile contributions, and if they are your children you appreciate and love them no matter what. With that in mind, step out of the way, and move on gracefully, and hopefully to something better. But, like it or not, now it’s someone else’s turn.

—TechWite

Apple Flashback 2006: Weird News

Looking back at 2015 – News about labor practices in China, wearables, and Big Tech in politics. But wait! This is from 2006. Tempora mutantur?

Apple’s Bad News? – The business news is alive with stories that Apple’s iPods are built by virtual slave labor in China. [Isn’t that true of all manufactured goods from China?] Does make you wonder how prices are going to stay low when the rest of the world asks for a decent wage. Apple has stated it will ‘investigate’ since this clearly runs against their corporate philosophy.

Nike Deal Borgs Nano Runners – In one more of an endless onslaught of new products and technical innovations from Apple, Nike and Apple are co-advertising the “Nike Runner’s Kit” for iPod Nanos. The kit consists of a wireless sensor that goes in your shoe, a receiver that attaches to your iPod Nano, and software. Once configured, the runner can receive real-time audio feedback in his headphones, as the ‘kit’ tracks speed, distance, and calories burned. Does it also monitor pulse and heartrate? After exercise, the runner can sych the data with software on his Mac or PC, and even upload it to a web site where he can compete with other runners.

Grand Old Party Usurps Flag, is iPod Next? – Do not misunderestimate the significance of President Bush’s fondness for his iPod. For providing an opportunity for local Republicans to discuss how to further control the media, monitor all forms of communication for un-patriotic behaviour, enhance corporate profits, and further modify the tax code to their advantage, the RNC rewards ‘coffee’ hosts with a customized iPod, wrapped in a red, white, and blue flag decal!

Hillary’s Hits Hit the News – But wait! Just when this party starts to fade, we’ve got news of Hillary’s iPod, and my gosh, what’s on it?? It was Bill’s gift to her, and it’s full of Eagles, Beatles, pretty much what you would expect. Jeez. Everybody wants to be a cat. 🙂

Can the Democrats top the GOP marketing coup with their own promotional video iPod to big donors? Rumors assert it will contain denial sound bytes and contradictory truths from the current administration, including:

• “There absolutely are WMD”
• “Mission accomplished”
• “Anyone that leaks will be fired”
• “This is not a fishing expedition. These are targeted wiretaps of international callers”

…And more. Get yours today!!

– From Unpredictable Issue #81

Apple Flashback 2001: We Didn’t Think of That

How to Update Quicktime

As I mentioned way, way back in UNPREDICTABLE #3, the Software Update Control Panel doesn’t update Quicktime! And I still can’t tell you why—but I can guess. Those whacky, wonderful guys and gals in Apple’s Quicktime development group are pretty independent. As far as they’re concerned, they’ve got Apple’s crown jewel, and all the other development groups should just BOW and BE HUMBLE.

For example, a few years ago at MacExpo NYC, Apple demoed the ‘new’ release of Quicktime 4. One of the cool features was the ability to set up Quicktime to tell it HOW FAST your Internet connection was. That way, Quicktime Streaming servers could send you movies appropriate for your speed. (To oversimplify: Slow connection? Small movie. Fast connection? Big movie.) When I saw that, I thought, “Cool. I bet they have it tied to Location Manager!”  Which would make a great deal of sense.

Location Manager – definitely an Overlooked and Underused item, is mostly for laptop users. It’s kind of a SUPER Extension Manager. It’s a way to change ALL KINDS OF SETTINGS with just one command. You can: turn File Sharing on, have a default printer named “Joe”, and use a certain TCP-IP address connected to an Ethernet LAN at WORK. Then, switch to: A default printer “Jane”, turn File Sharing off, and use TCP-IP over your modem, at HOME. Once you have it set up, all you have to do is choose ‘WORK’ or ‘HOME’ and everything snaps into place.

So I asked one of the Quicktime DUDES at the Apple booth about that. He pointed his blond beard skyward, ran his fingers through his pony tail, and said, “Hmm, No..we didn’t think of that. That might be a good idea. Thanks.”

I try to help Apple where I can. Now Quicktime speeds are tied-in to Location Manager. My point, besides shameless self-promotion, is that the Quicktime Team is in their own little world. Why should THEY have to use the Software Update Control Panel? THEY don’t like it. THEY can build their own Software Update into Quicktime. And THEY DID. SO THERE.

via Unpredictable Back Issue #8, February, 2001.

Microsoft Flashback 2001: “What’s in a Name?”

“Internet Explorer 3”

Microsoft used to play version number leap-frog with other software vendors. Why? Because everybody knows: the HIGHER VERSION NUMBER is BETTER SOFTWARE.

Nevermind that “Microsoft Word” went from Version 2 to version 6, it was BETTER than “WordPerfect 5”!

Which is why without ever releasing a Mac web browser before, Microsoft introduced “Internet Explorer” as VERSION 3. Because it was BETTER than Netscape’s current version at the time, you guessed it, “Navigator 2”.

As for their OS’s, Microsoft laughed at IBM’s “OS/2”, which was released after “Windows 3.1”, and then they jumped all the way to “Windows 95”. THEN their marketing department had a few too many martinis at lunch and got SO FULL OF THEMSELVES that they decided they were THOUSANDS of times better than anyone else. The result? “Windows 2000”.

From Unpredictable #12, March 20, 2001

Edited with BlogPad Pro

Windows 10? Whither Nine?

What’s in a name?  Windows 10

Ironically and coincidentally—TechWite wrote only yesterday about “What’s in a name?” in relation to our favorite OS,  “TEN”, currently known as “Mavericks” and soon to be called, “Yosemite”.

Hey, Microsoft just announced they’re opening a “Microsoft Store” in Manhattan, about two blocks from—you guessed it—the Apple Store on Fifth Avenue. So now, instead of walking by the empty Microsoft Store with the bored Windows Geniuses at the Bridgewater Commons Mall, you can walk past the empty Microsoft Store with the bored Windows Geniuses on Fifth Avenue. This is just part of Microsoft’s long history of imitation. And they’ve done pretty well with it.

Today the TechWite Twitter feed is inundated, maybe obliterated, with short blather about Microsoft’s BIG preview and announcement of the next version of Windows, known as “10”. Does this sound weirdly familiar?

Microsoft decided to restore the “Start” menu, and “Search”, from the Start menu. They’ve decided that desktop users might prefer an interface that lets them use their keyboard and mice, as they have for the last twenty-five or thirty years, and still get to see those “Live Tiles” so loved by the Twix-snapping Microsoft  Surface (tablet) crowd. And, they’ve even added some nifty features like using multiple Desktops. (I know, Mac people, we’ve had that for years. Just cool it, and let me finish.)

Most of the snarky tweets clogging Twitter are about the version number. You know the current version of Windows is 8, and you know that your Windows computer is at 7, because, seriously, has anyone other than real Windows geeks and BDC Microserfs upgraded to Windows 8?? (The answer I’m looking for here, is “No.”)

Which brings us back to, “Where”, you might ask, “Did ‘NINE’ go?” Hence the blizzard of tweets from the confused twittersphere.

Guys, let’s do a quick review. Everybody knows that a “higher” version number is better than a “lower” version number. Right? So clearly, Microsoft is saying that Windows Ten is going to be WAY better than Windows 8. WAY. What’s the problem people? So they skipped Nine? This is not a big deal!!

Next time: Why you should expect the next iOS release to be number…

Edited with BlogPad Pro

What’s in a name? The Oh Ess Ex Files

TEN, TEN, TEN!! OSX!

It just doesn’t work guys! Expecting our brains to look at three characters and pronounce one as the letter ‘OH’, and the next as the letter ‘ESS’, and then the third as the letter ‘EX’.  NO! NO! NO! (See what I mean?) The third as the ROMAN NUMERAL ‘TEN’!

Only a stubborn genius like Steve Jobs could have insisted on OH ESS TEN. Even the most simple minded Marketing person at Apple must have foreseen what a royal pain this name was going to be. Did any of them have the cajones to tell Steve? Probably not. Even if they did, he’d say,

“Hey, I was right about disk drives, wasn’t I?”

And they’d say, “Let’s call it ‘AQUA’ Steve, people will like that!”

And Steve’d say, “No. Don’t you get it? Generation ‘X’, uniX. It’s gotta have an EX. It’s a marketing thing!”

And they’d say, “Leave the marketing to Marketing, Steve, that’s what you pay us for!”

And Steve says, “I pay you? Everyone says the worst thing about Apple is its marketing. They’ve said that for twenty years! Have I been paying you for twenty years? I wonder what our market share would be if you were working on commission!”

“Steve, you want them to think EX but say TEN. It’s too complicated.”

And Steve would say, “You bozo, I killed Newton, tell me that was a mistake! We’re profitable!”

And they’d think, “Palm and Handspring, they’re doing well…” but they’d say, “How about we just SPELL it ‘OS 10’?”

And Steve would reply, “Are you still working here? OS/2 is IBM’s Operating System. Do you think I want ANYONE to have the slightest perception that OH ESS EX – damn it! – OH ESS TEN, is in any way related to some antique rubbish code from IBM??”

Well we know who won that argument. The  Steve won. The product was named “OSX”,  and properly pronounced “Oh Ess Ten”. But he lost the battle. Because to this day you can hardly find an Apple-Store-Newbie-scruff, much less a GENIUS, who calls it anything but “Oh Ess Ex”.

From Unpredictable #18, May 14, 2001

Edited with BlogPad Pro

What if you are one of the unusual folks who wants the free U2 album, but can’t get it?

TidBITS: How to Get (or Delete) Your Free U2 Album.

I’ve been waiting around to see if the U2 album ever shows up on any of my Apple stuff.

I’m not whining because Apple gave me a free album and pushed it down to my stuff without even asking if I wanted it. There are plenty of whiners out there to handle that. And I don’t know, I suppose a Beyonce or Taylor Swift album appearing on my iTunes might have pushed me to whining (or worse). I have compassion for those who don’t like U2. I’m not one of them.

Apple isn’t perfect. They could have handled this better. If the Executive VP in charge of Doing The Right Thing (EVIP of DRAT) had been consulted, I imagine she would have said, “I think we should give people the choice. Isn’t that what Apple is all about? Great choices? If we threw in another gigabyte of iCloud storage, how many people would complain? Then we wouldn’t have to even think about  how many people didn’t choose the download!” But clearly The Tim wasn’t listening to the EVIP of DRAT that day. And the U2-hating-whiners have deluged Apple with complaints. It could have been avoided.

But back to me. I never even got the download. I waited over a week. And after a couple of fruitless Google searches that turned up article-after-article and blog-after-blog of whining about Apple giving people free U2 albums without even a whit of free extra iCloud storage, I found this article in our old friend TidBITS.

I followed the instructions for how to get the album if you are one of the unusual folks who actually want it, but can’t get it. And I got it.

Thank you Adam Engst and team for, once again, publishing the right stuff at the right time. Well written!

Ask Anyone Who Has to Use Sharepoint what they think of it.

Go ahead. I dare you.
Ask anyone who has to use Sharepoint in their office what they think of it. If you are one of the people who has to use it, I’m sorry. Because unless your IT department has tons of money and a creative, open-minded leaning, then you are using “out-of-the-box” Sharepoint. And for you, I am sorry. It is confusing, ugly, and browser dependent. It is all that is wrong with the PC today and Microsoft for the last ten years. And that’s why a Microsoft Partner company can actually send an email like the one below. A product which can sell itself by making Sharepoint “not look like Sharepoint”. That says a lot doesn’t it? Am I taking crazy pills? If you are paying to make Sharepoint not be Sharepoint, why are you using Sharepoint??
 

This is Starbucks Dude

Okay, I admit it, I call Starbucks “my other office”, and I sit here with my iPad or MacBook Pro and check my email and read and write. In fact, right now, everybody who has a seat here has some device in front of them. Most of us tolerate a colleague taking the occasional phone call, within reason, and we get annoyed with people who are loud and long on their calls. We might even put up with a YouTube video, if it’s short, and funny, and the guy keeps the volume down—but if someone starts watching BBC or CNN battle scenes from anywhere, I’m going to ask them to use their headphones, or turn it WAY down.

Some things are just not acceptable. Starbucks is a place of diversity and tolerance, and frankly, with all the banging of dishes and water running and coffee grinding and steam streaming, it is a place of noise. Noise and tolerance. Once in a rare while someone pushes this concept a bit, like the guy with the “card table laptop” in one of my other posts, but usually, usually, nobody really goes over the top. Until today.

There’s a guy with a BIG Dell laptop, attached to an external monitor – and no, I don’t mean one of those super portable USB connected external flat panels. Visualize this on a little round wooden Starbucks table. I’m talkin’ about a DELL desktop monitor with a stand. 20″ diagonal. How did he even get it in here?! He’s eating up TWO power outlets at once. Oh, did I forget to mention the EXTERNAL keyboard AND mouse?? Is it Bluetooth? I didn’t notice. What’s next? A laser printer??

This is a Starbucks dude. Starbucks!!

Edited with BlogPad Pro